2005-09-16 - disillusioned
this happens all the time and I'm not sure
if I commit the crime to find the cure
for vanity's insanity, the bane of all humanity,
the wretched curse of beauty
and her falsely perceived duty
to attach a deeper meaning than what's there
and destroy a friendship shared without a care
she's entrenched as perpetrator
as a heartless love evader
if a man's eliminated from her prospects
she intuitively cuts away all suspects
it's so hard to be a friend when feelings come
all the cards just seem to play out well for some
they meet and greet and then
they are destined to befriend
all the deeper forms of friendship that ensue
and they both know what it does and doesn't do...
and they navigate together through the storm
of emotions which occur beyond the norm...
but here now in this space
where I contemplate my case
I can see no remedy for this disease
it's so far removed from me - if you please
I'm too busy to address her invitation
I'm insulted by her vain insinuation
I'm not a fan of this lame kind of game
so it's back into the mass from which she came
the swirling world which can't be trusted
when the crap detector's busted
it's so easy to believe your lucky day
has arrived, but till then... let us pray
she thought I wanted more
when I opened up the door
and I thought she thought I wanted her for less
every thought has been reduced now to a guess
for when she sent mixed signals
like the joke about bi-linguals
and the eyebrow cocked and rising to crescendo
not to mention that reverse of inuendo
and the way she stared to see if I got jealous
when she spent 2 hours talking to her fellas
and I shrugged it off as nothing
I was not the least bit bluffing
I could care less who she talks to on the phone
as long as he is someone I'd condone
but her game continued weak
so I called her up to speak
and confront her with her flakey disposition
and that's how I revisit this position
saying, what's my motivation?
is it self-congratulation?
for the bellows?
for the fire?
for the coals?
is it miscommunication?
is it misinterpretation?
is it hell no to desire in our souls?
no, it's nothing like envisioned
it's a very sad division
disappointing
and disjointing
and it's gone
and that's all the time I've got - I'm moving on
�
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