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2005-01-28 - resoulution

this empty cold space feeling
with its permeating press
infiltrating and dealing
with outlying manifests
credos I've adopted
which seemed to serve me well
others I let drop dead
as time was sure to tell
but in the inner sanctum
of this place inside of me
I listed and and I ranked 'em
in a flash of clarity
lying on the forest floor
waiting for arrival
I hear a sound I can't ignore
an instinct for survival
coupled with a harmony
enjoined with safe and sound
a thousand thoughts come onto me
as I lie on the ground

the chemical was in my head
the gun was in my hand
my friends and I might soon be dead
if things don't go as planned
we waited at the wooded drive
but no one ever came
as darkness falls we're still alive
and I still feel the same
so glad it's time to go
so glad it didn't go down
and basking in the glow
of some resolve I found
I head homeward all alone
as my two friends went to their own

and I'm thinking, I'm aware:
someone looks out for me up there
and I shouldn't take for granted
and I shouldn't push my chances
and my loyalty recanted
from my peer group ruled advances
as I thought and I reflected
on the ways I disrespected
all alone on my way home
I could feel this loving dome
and a song (my soul, to keep)
written by Uriah Heap
was a prayer I was replying
Stealin' When I Should be Buying

"Stood on a ridge and
shunned religion
thinking that the world was mine,
I made my break
and a big mistake
I was stealin' when I should've been buyin'"

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