2003-09-16 - 11:48 p.m.
so anyway, as I was saying
(the inner conflict I'm portraying)
this quest for power to make every moment count
there was the leading and delaying
by required forms of paying
and there were other sermons preaching on the mount
.
but deep inside there was this longing,
coupled with the toots and bonging
and pursuit of catalysts in moderation,
for some sense of a belonging
far above the usual thronging
and I'd never been too far beyond that station
.
that road we travel all alone
that brings us to our comfort zone
can be a mediocre state of apathy
it's easier to be a clone
and besides it's all we've known
we'd likely stay here barring sudden tragedy
.
but my mind was set on this:
if paranormal worlds exist
then I'd be comatose to let pursuits be trivial
the midnight oil became a mist
and so the neo-alchemist
logged hours dabbling in the cult of audio-visuals
.
and the range from where I stood was so provincial
it went from bad to not-so-good to non-conventional
the hidden knowledge source was classic confidential
and so I tried to see beyond the existential
.
like hobbits hidden in thier holes
surrounded by their books and goals
delving into things which seem to flirt with Sauron
I justified within my soul
this outer form was a control
to keep the money grubbing tomb-raider a moron
.
a wealth of wisdom from the ones
who held the keys to abbaddon
a palace guarded by a moat of alligators
a mighty fortress and her guns
with steak and turf impaled upon
the polls that frighten off the sharks and corporate raiders
.
I saw beyond it (so I thought)
into the vault of truth untaught
occultic powers which could poll vault me to peace
the wrestless centipede was caught
inside the web wherein he fought
the feared injection which would render no release
.
so there I struggled in the swamp
not far beyond the city romp
where childhood memories seemed clapboard by design
sinking in the english comp
diminished aura, psychic stomp
and far away from tyrant lifesavers and kind
.
I was embarked upon a journey in my mind
wherin I left the uninitiate behind
and I was tapping into something unbenign
the source of darkness and rebellion -- I was blind.
.
[to be continued]
�
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